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(via madcatterlol, fucknicethings)
"You wouldn’t believe it! It had wings, and it was flying, and everything. Oh my god, it was horrible!"
The Story of Little Phil
A number of days ago, my beautiful cat, Simon Ruppington Babyhead the 1st, spotted something in the yard. He didn’t seem to be terribly interested in hunting it, or harming it, but he was fascinated with this little baby creature. It was a tiny little blackbird that had somehow wound up on the ground with an injury. It couldn’t fly. It was just sitting there chilling like a little birdy does when it’s lost from its nest.
I didn’t want to touch it at first, because mother birds tend to flip out if their babies have human scent on them. So I kept an eye on him, and got him to hop on to a small branch so I could rescue it from my cat (just in case he decided to go for it). It seemed a little uncomfortable in the makeshift nest I made for it, so I transported it to the small garden my mother is keeping.
About an hour later I went to check on it and it had gotten itself all mucked up in the garden. It seemed unable to hold itself up. I figured, maybe it needed a little water. I brought it some water but it was uninterested. Upon realizing that its mother probably wasn’t going to come back for it, I picked it up and gave it a little bath in a small pail full of warmish water. Its stability began to decline rapidly, so I sat in back and held it in my hands, stroking its little birdy head as it dried off from its bath.
I sat there for about half an hour before I decided to lay it to rest under a tree. That was where it took its final breaths. I wish I would have known how to rescue it so it wouldn’t have had to die.
My sister named it ‘Little Phil’. For some reason we have a weird inside joke that all blackbirds are Philips. And since it was just a little guy, well, you get the point.

I FUCKING LOVE HOUSE SPARROWS.

britishstarr:

THIS ADORABLE FUCKER RIGHT HERE IS A MALE.

THIS CUTIE RIGHT HERE IS A FEMALE.

SUP. I AM ABOUT TO BUILD A FUCKING NEST BECAUSE I AM A RESPECTABLE ASS FATHER.

SPARROWS SPEND MOST OF THEIR TIME BEING ADORABLE AS FUCK.

THEY ARE CLEAN MOTHERFUCKERS.

THEY DON’T TAKE SHIT FROM NO ONE.

I FUCKING LOVE BIRDS IN GENERAL

 Birds are lovely

(via lord-of-the-wings-deactivated20)

fuckyeahmodernflapper:

Louis Icart (French, 1888-1950) 1927  “Jealousy” depicting woman with parakeets.
Oh boy, I love parakeets.

fat-birds:

ducksducks:

Duck fashion parade at the Newcastle show in NSW, Australia. not bad.

Oh my god hahahahahahaha

(via callmesisi)

70 reasons animals are better than children

Dogs

You can keep them on a leash at any age
Public spaces in which they’re allowed in are very few
You can leave them at home regardless, and choose when you take them out
Dogs are not picky eaters
Most dogs will never require diapers
Dogs are easier to train and will tell you when they have to “go”
They are happy with you no matter what you do
Unwanted noise-making is more easily curbed
If they get pregnant, you can give away (or sell) their offspring
If they get another person’s dog pregnant, it’s usually not your responsibility
They don’t usually need constant supervision
Most dogs enjoy taking a bath as much as they enjoy getting dirty
Dogs can’t tell people embarrassing things about you
It’s rare that your dog will need a babysitter
Vaccinations are suggested, but not required
You don’t have to give birth to them
You don’t have to worry about finding porn in their bedroom
You can sterilize them so they won’t multiply
They will never develop a drug problem
They won’t whine about your taste in music, or ask to drive
(Obedience) school is a luxury, not a necessity

Cats

They are severely independent and will come to you for attention
You don’t need to take them outside (because they use a litter box)
You can keep them indoors forever (and it’s usually safer for them)
They will love you as long as you feed them
They don’t get pissy when you comb their hair
You’ll never have to give them “the talk”
Their lack of opposable thumbs prevents them from throwing things
They rarely make disruptive noises
They won’t go through puberty or an “awkward depressive teenager” stage
Their children will always be cute (no doubts, no exceptions)
They’ll watch a movie with you without interruptions
Cats are highly intelligent - they can, like dogs, be trained to sit and stay
Cats don’t mind if you go away for an entire day
They typically don’t require a bath
They don’t menstruate if they’re sterilized
They bury their poop, and you throw it away
Like dogs, you don’t have to give birth to these clawed creatures
They have an impressive grasp on object permanence
They clean their own asses
Parasites can be killed and nobody will call you a murderer
They won’t get drunk

Birds

You don’t have to teach them to talk, but sometimes you can
They fly. Can a child do that shit? I don’t think so.
Birds exist on pellets and water; a little bit will last them forever.
They don’t require a babysitter (even if you’re going away for a week)
If they escape, they’re not disrupting their natural habitat
They come in all sorts of different colours (you know, weird ones)
They’ll shut up if you cover their cage
They don’t require a daily walk
They can’t grow up to be serial killers or rapists
They’re capable of sitting still for a photograph
They’ll naturally kill and dispose of insects so you don’t have to
You don’t need to worry about them hanging out with the wrong crowd
It’s not a good idea to take them with you, uncaged, in the car
Or much interaction at all, for that matter
You’ll never have to worry about them killing you in your sleep
Birds are easily fascinated, thus easily occupied
You don’t usually have to worry about bird-babies unless you breed them

Rodents

The noises they make are whisper-soft
They eat with their hands (and don’t make a mess with it)
It’s not abnormal to keep them in a cage or let them play in a wheel
You don’t have to deal with them for 18 years
They usually don’t succumb to psychological disorders
They are possibly the least offensive creature to have
You don’t have to send them to school
They don’t typically need vaccinations or checkups (rabbits, chinchillas = maybe?)
They won’t deliberately tease your cat
They can’t tell anyone how uncool their parents are
They can’t be brainwashed by the media

(Source: rachel-h, via tom-bakery)

Every time I see this, I laugh like I didn’t get enough oxygen at birth.

(Source: rachel-h, via exeggcute)

ckolderup:

Local newspapers. Still got it.

This is Chirp Derpington with your daily Nature News.
Everything’s pretty fabulous out here in Bird World. The worms are fatter than they were last week, Betty Birdy’s feathers are looking awfully sexy lately, and now that the wind has died down, our birdy acrobatics are substantially easier.

thedisreputabledog:

realrobertpattinson:

hey if you teach your parrot to say ‘parrot’ it’s probably as close as you’ll get to owning a pokemon

My brother tells a story about his roommate’s parrot, that everyone who came to the house would say “you’re a bird!” to it so the bird would repeat the phrase back, no big. Until one day my brother was alone in the house with it and heard it say, very quietly, “I’m a bird.” My brother almost dropped a plate.

(via masculinetoast)