ladyislingering

I’ve got just one thing to say to this.

This is the thought pattern of an absolutely horrible mind.

When I saw this hideous ass-sembly of lollipops crawling all over this ass-stablishment:

I called on some lovely ladies from the 1950s, in my brain:

Who then began to sing for me:

Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolli, lolli, lolli …..

Fact: Cigarettes should be illegal. Nicotine is a cruel mistress that kills millions of people every year. Has anyone ever died from smoking too much pot (apart from all possibilities of stupid behavior while under the influence)?

Get your shit together, America.

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This is probably exactly what it looks like when I say that, too.

135801

gharrison-:

broken-hearted-jubilee:

And You Can See His Head D:

WHERE?

EW EW EW EW … EW EW. EW FUCKING SON OF A
His head. See that guy in the black t-shirt and bluejeans? Yeah. Look at his left calf. There’s a head next to it. Ugh.
This shit is so freaky.

8

Dear Canada,

If you’re going to shop in America and travel via bus, please, for the love of God or whatever you find holy, don’t rip through department stores like a cyclone just because you have [x-amount of] minutes to do your shopping. Especially when you’re browsing clothes.

There’s no reason you can’t just fold the shirt(s) you sloppily crumpled up, and absolutely no reason you should be incapable of putting a shirt back on a hanger if you dropped it on the ground. Don’t drape clothes over shelves or rip things off of shelves until you find your size/something you actually like. I already have enough work to do without you being a Grade-A slob.

I know it’s not just you. It’s Americans too. But you come in hordes, swarms, packs. A bus leaves the store in a crippled state. We can’t keep up with your haphazard shopping habits. Is it so much to ask for, for you to put things back (in the correct place) if you don’t want them, rather than just dumping stuff everywhere? I understand you’re on a time crunch, but sometimes you can be three steps away from an item’s correct location and STILL you just drop it wherever you happen to be, and then carry on to make a mess somewhere else.

What the hell, Canada? Maybe to you, I am a lowly retail worker who happens to live in America (but doesn’t call herself an American) but I’m also a human being. Everything you’re messing up was placed by human hands. There aren’t magical store fairies that come in after hours and clean/stock everything for your thirst for disaster.

Normally I love tourists. But this past weekend has made me wish you would have stayed home.

Among the things I discovered today:

50+ packs of ladies’ undies scattered all over the floor.

Several cups from McDogshit’s.

Tons of little girls’ training bras all up in a pile, twisted in every way imaginable.

Dog treats shoved into the bras.

Shirts draped over racks with hangers underneath (wtf).

And other such atrocities. What’s the matter with you (meaning, every single customer today, not just Canadians) people? Jesus Christ.

Sincerely,

Pissed off retail bitch.

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