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Today I discovered the meaning of “postwhoring”.

Really and truly.

I logged on to this forum I frequent a lot. It’s a friendly place. We make birthday threads for people when it’s their birthday. Last June I made a birthday thread for my sister (who is a member of the forum). Someone who had not been to the forum in a very long time decided to catch up with 10 fucking months worth of posts that they missed, and necrobumped my sister’s birthday thread. From last June.

And included an enticing picture of my favourite band in her post.

Dear necrobumping poster: are you on drugs? Jesus christ. Who does that shit?

I would be appalled.
nobricksinthewall:

samborasixx:

toribellamuerte:


Is Mickey making Swiss Cheese with his penis?

Oh my god O.O

 My childhood had been ruined O.O

 o____________________________________________________O

Well, that would explain the horrified look on the face of the creature behind him. At least the parrot seems to enjoy it.
I jewbilated when I saw this.
xornvestite:

Is this where they come from?

Your funeral-goers will now have a place to park their bicycles if we all switch to this brilliant standard of burial.
playdontworry:


And I said to myself, “I THINK I’LL REBLOG A FUCKING SLICE OF BREAD.”

I sang this as: “And I think to myself…what a wonderful world!” only changing the words in my head.
..

Woke up, got out of bed, …. SPAMMED YOUR DASH UP WITH SOME BREAD.

The other day I saw this commercial on TV for Digiorno’s “Pizza & Cookies” creation. Yes. You get a frozen pizza, and frozen ready-to-bake Tollhouse cookies. In the same box. You know, since you already have your oven going, you may as well throw some cookies in there.

My first reaction to this was “No wonder everyone hates America” and then I thought to myself “wait, there’s got to be stoners in their control room”. Then it dawned on me that the only possible way something this ridiculous (two unrelated products existing in the same box with intent to sell like it’s no big deal) could possibly be conceived is the simple fact that this is the stoner’s dream come true.

Dear Digiorno,

Well played. There’s probably millions of stoners smoking a fatty right now that would love pizza and cookies at the same time.

Dad’s House.

My dad is white. Sure, I’m stating the obvious there, but my dad is whiter than white. My dad is so white that it radiates all over the interior of his house. When I moved into this house as a child, with my parents and my sister, it had some colour. Dark green carpet in the living room, pink carpet in one of the bedrooms; borders and trim, wallpaper. Creatively placed things. Gaudy curtains, and tacky things here and there. However, no matter how tacky it was, you’d think my dad would have practiced a little sense of design when giving it an overhaul. He’s like the KKK of interior design.

So what’d dad do? He painted everything white. No, really. Every fucking room in the house, except for his and mum’s bedroom. Instead he put up this mostly-white, shitty-looking floral wallpaper from hell. It looks like some shit you’d see at a hospital. It’s very boring, inoffensive, and doesn’t exactly challenge the mind to think about the patterns. There used to be brown and black paneling in the hallway; dad painted it white. Every last bit of wall he could get his paintbrush on, he painted white. Even the floor in the storage room in the basement. Yes, he painted the fucking floor white. All the carpeting (save for his bedroom, which is blue … and white) in the entire house is white. Save for a blue rug downstairs. The linoleum in the kitchen is white. The rugs in the house are all white. Or some fucking variant of white.

For a while my sister’s bedroom was green. I suspect dad was going through a creative phase, or the realization that everything in the entire fucking house was white, and boring as shit. When I moved, my sister took my bedroom and my mother moved a bunch of her shit into that room, which, my dad painted (you guessed it) white. I was mortified over this when I returned. I was also mortified to find that the blue walls in the downstairs bathroom were painted white; the bathroom upstairs used to be some odd colour, but I know it wasn’t white. The adjoined laundry room used to have brown cabinets, and at some point my dad painted things blue. Lo and behold he had this bizarre compulsion to paint everything white. Even the fucking cabinets.

So far the only places safe from dad’s white infestation have been the insides of closets (which have remained brown). I was delighted several months ago to find that dad put up some wood paneling downstairs. It’s brown. However, everything is still white aside from that; both upstairs and downstairs have living spaces with white couches. Almost all the curtains or shades in the house are white. There used to be very long windows just below the ceiling in the living room; my dad had custom curtains and rods made to cover them, and (yep!) they were white. (Eventually we boarded them up and painted; those fucking windows were an atrocity and the person who engineered this stupid shitty house should be shot to death.)

Some minor annoyances of dad’s obsession with white descend well into the fact that all the vents, switch plates, and lights are white. Every handle, every cabinet door. The front and back doors (both the inner and storm doors) and the exterior of the house are also white. My dad has issues with white. Please, for the love of all that’s unholy, explain to me why one man would want to paint his entire fucking house white. Even all the appliances (except for the dishwasher and stove) are fucking white. It’s just completely unacceptable.

While I’m on this rampage, I must go on a rampage about the fact that people have seemingly lost their sense of interior (and exterior) design. Think back to the 1800s through the 1950s. Ornate rugs, cherry oak, rich-looking patterns, china and porcelain; colours, swirls, decadence. Then mod, circular, colourful, fashionable. Antique. Think Victorian, stylish, dramatic. Where have these homes gone? What happened to the days when people actually had a little creativity and taste? Everything is now so plain, square, flat, shitty. What the hell has happened to this world?

Shame on you if your imagination is nonexistent. You’re ruining the world.

The downside to living in this house is that I have to listen to my mother snoring. It sounds like a fucking whale is dying in there.

andrewgarfieldsjaw:

sam-theham:

jamesdelfresco:

THIS IS IMPORTANT
REBLOG THIS RIGHT NOW.

LEOPARD UNDERWEAR
LEOPARD UNDERWEAR
LEOPARD UNDERWEAR

Yeah whats with the leopard underwear O_O

"Bearded man in leopard underwear." Sounds more like she was abducted from a Wal-Mart than a McDogshit’s.
What is this I don’t even..
newdamage:

Just. LOL.

What the shit.
unicornholio:

I bet she had a hard time in kindergarten.

It’s like the alphabet threw up all over her facebook page.

An unfortunate receipt to have left behind…

unicornholio:

lifeswhatchamakeit:

oh my. xD

I am mortified.

(Source: hippiemama22, via come-to-beavis)